History of No-Shave November

No one really knows the history and other traditions associated with No-Shave November. For this reason, a massive research effort was put forth by Fool's Gold employees, carnival workers, ZZ Top, the Amish community and fictitious character Grizzly Adams. The following is the result of months of in-depth research, stubble, five o'clock shadows, and enough ingrown hairs to upset a Yak.
The first documented beard was found on cave drawings, located in the fertile crescent of the modern day Middle East. Apparently during these dark times, there were few razors and none with four blades and a conditioning strip. If a man wanted to shave his beard, he would visit the nearest village dentist and borrow "the beard sword," which traditionally was a four foot long rusty blade.

From the Middle Ages to the Renaissance, November beards were common because the extra facial hair was believed to ward off evil spirits, invading foreigners, and the plague. Men were still forced to shave during the remaining 14 months to impress the fair maiden of his dreams. If a man rescued a fair maiden she would give her hand in marriage if he looked "kissably soft."

These trends turned tradition continued through the discovery and foundation of America until the Civil War. Abraham Lincoln worked to pass laws officially recognizing No-Shave November; however he was never successful. His famous Gettysburg Address given in November of 1863, was originally titled "The Gettysbeard Address" and was supposed to encourage all men to grow beards that were fuller and hairier than the beards of the Confederacy. General Ambrose Burnside was given his rank simply because he had what Lincoln called "a badass beard."
In recent years, men everywhere have taken up the November past time of beard growing. In the early 1970's, students rebelled against Nixon's clean shaved policies. In the 1990's, Grunge music and fashion furthered No-Shave November. So far, the twenty-first century has advanced the tradition beyond the back woods and local pub.(The Oredigger.No-Shave November.)