The masculinity of American men has taken a huge blow in the last 100 years. The average man doesn't have to
labor in the field to grow crops or go into the wilderness and kill so his family can eat. He now sits at a
desk staring at a screen 40 hours a week and drives to the closest grocery store. He used to chop down mighty
trees and split them with an axe so his family could stay warm. He now pays the gas bill. Don't get me wrong,
there are still manly men out there, however, they are few and far between.
So why give up the silky-smooth clean-shaven appearance of, say, David Hasselhoff for the entire month of
November? If the human body were a night of drinking, growing a beard is the point where you can set parts of
your body on fire without even flinching. It is that awesome.
After a few years of upkeep, though, facial hair becomes much less exciting. In fact, it becomes downright
irritating. To continue the previous metaphor, having to deal with shaving daily is like having to deal with
the next-morning consequences of consuming an entire bottle of Jack Daniels. After 11 months of doing it
every day, you need some kind of a break.
While No-Shave November used to be a rite of passage into manhood, now it’s a welcome break from soaping up
the old razor. It’s a change of pace. It’s a chance to say, “Hey, I know what I’m going to look like if I
disappear into the country for four weeks with nothing but a month-long supply of flannel; but that’s okay.”
It’s an opportunity to prove your ruggedness and smile proudly through that bushy face-field.
Because men are no longer given the chance to explore unmapped territories, build giant forts, kill for
necessity, or tame the untamed, he is forced to sit at a computer wishing someone would allow him to be a
manly man. Not only for his sake, but also to show his children an example of what it is to be a real man. By
making No Shave November a national holday, the average American man will be allowed to cease shaving the
entire month of November, no matter the occupation, showing the rest of the world that he is still the manly
man his grandfather and great-grandfather were.